


An Endless Loop of Tea

by kiwifruit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Hiccups, M/M, completely plotless, eren with hiccups is actually adorable, fluff?, idkkkk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:35:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1719242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwifruit/pseuds/kiwifruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where the dorks – horseface and Jaeger- get ridiculously worked up over the most meaningless subject in the universe-</p><p>Hiccups.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Endless Loop of Tea

**Author's Note:**

> Just some silly light-hearted stuff cus depressing things are not good for the heart.
> 
> (my writing is terrible because what is proofread)
> 
> Terrible mischaracterisation ahead, btw.

_Hic!_

I freeze with my arm halfway towards the wooden cupboard, my eyes widening. Covering my mouth with a hand in horror, I gulp, trying to take even breaths.

 

Fuck. _Fuck_. I had the bloody, motherfucking, **_hiccups_**.

 

As I open the cupboard with trembling hands and reach for the tin of tealeaves on the second shelf of the cupboard, I can feel another one bubbling up, right at my throat-

 

_Hic!_

I press my hand firmly over my mouth, but the sound still comes out loud and clear for the entirety of Wall Maria to hear.  

 

I don’t want to admit this, but I – yes _me_ ; THE Eren Jaeger- ranked 5th in the 107th trainee squad; humanity’s greatest hope– am never going to go down in history for having annihilated those hateful titans, no. I’m going down into every single future history textbook for having the most fucking embarrassing, high-pitched hiccups in the history of _ever_.

 

Twisting the lid of the tin open, I tip a few leaves into a cup. I have my lips knotted tightly closed as I screw the lid back on, and wait for the water to boil.

 

_Hic!_

That squeaky, breathy noise had just escaped my mouth again when in comes the idiotic jerk Jean Kirschtein, a folder tucked under his arm smugly much like the smirk he had on his face.

I couldn’t think of a worse situation that could possibly happen in one’s life.

 

“Ohh. If it isn’t Eren Jaeger.” Jean raised an eyebrow cockily as he pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down. Leaning on one elbow, he watched me with his mocking expression. “So what are _you_ doing in the _kitchen_? Trying to cook like your _mom_?”

 

I could feel my eyebrow twitch with annoyance. “You dickhead. No need to worry – there’s nothing for y- _hic!_ ”

 

God _dammit_.

 

There’s dead silence for a full tick of the clock where we just stare at each other.

 

Then the room’s suddenly filled with the guffawing laugh of horseface.

 

“You-“ He points at me then laughs a bit more. “You have the hiccup of a fucking squirrel.”

 I feel like bashing his face with a brick, and I can feel my cheeks heating ridiculously. I glare at him laughing until a shrill sound alerts me that the water’s boiled. Giving him a last lingering glower, I take a hold of the kettle and pour the water into the cup. When I glance back at Jean he was still chuckling, now taking documents out of his folder.

 

 

Trying not to spill the tea, I clumsily place the cup on top of the tray that seems to be specifically made for clumsy, awkward people like me. It rattles as I lift it up, and I walk a few steps before stopping, observing the sloshing tea carefully. The waves settled down, and I’m about to keep walking when-

 

_Hic!_

 

Oh my god. This was getting bloody annoying.

 

I hear Jean snigger again, and I glare him down as I tried to calm the sloshing tea. This was _not_ fun.

 

“Fucking stop.” I snapped when Jean still kept laughing. “This is not fucking _funny_. Do you know who this tea is for?”

He stopped laughing for a moment. Good.

“It’s for corporal. If I spill this fucking tea because of these bitchass hiccups or because of _you_ , he’ll kill me. He hasn’t been sleeping- _hic!-_ for three fucking days Jean, he will easily just unscrew my head off my body and he’ll do the same to you too.” I conclude my rant with an angry sigh for good effect, and then carefully walk over to the table to set the tray carefully down into safety. “Help me get rid of it.”

 

It was stupid I knew – asking this dick for help in this life or death situation. But there was no one else.

Jean looked at me for a second, his head tilted thoughtfully. I guess he only thinks when lives are in danger. After a few seconds, he sat up straighter.

“This?”

 

He suddenly reached towards me and grabbed me by my stomach, wriggling his fingers into my sides. I’m just surprised at first, but then I find myself laughing helplessly, my legs collapsing suddenly under me. He stood up from his seat and kept tickling me, and I gasp for breath as I thrash my arms out, squirming as I yell for him to stop over and over again.

 

He eventually stops his fingers and I lie there, gasping like a fish out of water. God.

“Was that really the only solution you have?” I huff grumpily as I look at him, looking down on me with an amused expression on his face. I heave myself up off the ground, rubbing at my sore sides.

“It’s stopped now though, hasn’t it?” Jean asked, and I stay still for a moment next to him. Even though it annoyed me to endless degrees how he had to be half a head taller than me, I realized that my would-be-the-death-of-me hiccups had, indeed, **_stopped_**.

 

“Thank god.” I breathe as Jean sits back down in his chair with a heavy sigh. I pick up the tray again, watching the liquid carefully so it didn’t spill. “Thanks horseface, you saved us.”

 

“No problem, peabrain. Just don’t make corporal angry.”

 

I nod and walk carefully down the hall, my boots clacking on the stone floor. I try to keep my eyes in front of me and on the floor and on the sloshing tea at the same time and end up awkwardly toppling through the door of corporal’s office.

His cold, extra-pissed-off eyes slid to glare at me, and I straighten up and back up a few steps.

“S-sorry, sir!” I yelp, “I-I bought you the tea you requested-“

I stop when he turns his attention back to his document and taps on the desk as if to indicate the place I was to put the cup.

Feeling slightly annoyed (after all those enduring acts I had to go through just for this one fucking cup of tea) I walk cautiously over to him and pick up the cup off the tray. I try to stop the trembling in my hand as I slowly, carefully transport the cup full of the steaming sloshing liquid onto the corporal’s desk.

But I must have woken on the wrong side of the bed today or the odds weren’t in my favour or something because-

You know what happened?

 

I fucking _hiccupped_.

 

The sloshing tea in the cup turns into majestic waves and spills over the sides of the ceramic. It goes on my hand but I don’t even care because some spills onto the corporal’s desk and I try not to freak out and hyperventilate when it also seeps into the corners of the documents. 

 

Fuckkkkkkkkkk. I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up-

 

“I-I’m so sorry!” I gasp as I use my sleeve to try and wipe the liquid up off the desk. Why was I always so useless? Why can’t I even carry a fucking cup of tea properly?

Oh yeah, I can’t even lift a spoon properly, that’s right.

 

“Oi.” I hear his voice but _god_ ; I’m not ready to die yet. I can’t face him – I can pretty much imagine what it would look like – either a murderous flame lit in his cold orbs or a look of great disappointment and/or shame for having such a useless soldier on his squad. So I just squeal another apology as I continue mopping up the mess.

 

“ _Oi_.” He says again, and I just increase the rate of my arm mopping speed. Maybe if I get rid of the mess quickly he would reconsider my death sentence-

 

I freeze when he reaches over and grabs me by the back of my head and pushes me so I’m forced to face him. Damn it, he’s going to unscrew my head off of my body. I should have written my will earlier- I really wanted to ask Armin to give me a full description of what the sea looks like to my grave-

 

I’ve got my eyes screwed tightly shut when I feel something warm on my lips. First I think it might be the blood from my detached head, but it stays there without trickling down. I force myself to open my eyes and I’m met by the close up of corporal’s lovely impassive orbs.

 

Ah. Ok.

 

We stay like that long enough for me realise goggling at him like a fish wasn’t a very good idea and I re-close my eyes, feeling all my blood rise to my head (which is still attached to my body! hooray!) I can feel his hands in my hair, pushing me closer to him.

 

When he finally let go of me I was a staggering, stammering mess with the skin shade of a beetroot. “Wh-wh-why, c-cor-p-poral…?” I blabber at him, and my already frantic heartbeat starts doing the flips and the syncopas when he chuckles softly at my most likely absolutely ridiculous face.

 

“Your hiccups are gone now, right?” He says, and I stop for a moment. A full second passes.

Then a full minute.

 

There were no hiccups.

 _None_.

_My hiccups are annihilated._

 

I would like to thank not only god but also Jesus for this miracle.

 

“Th-thank you sir!” I say happily, before turning back to the wet desk and the half filled cup in my hand. “S-sorry sir…”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Corporal sighs as he ruffles my hair, and I try to steady the cup so that I don’t spill any more of that shit anywhere. “But go get me another one.”

 

"Yes sir!" I say and walk out of his office, my heart still going around on its flips and turns and cartwheels.

 

I walk up to the kitchen, and I'm about to reach for the wooden cupboard door when-

 

 _Hic!_  

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> and it goes back to the beginning. yey
> 
> btw Syncopas are like the musical rhythm thingy where its like quaver crotchet quaver excuse me for being such a music nerd
> 
> (in the distant end, Levi did end up getting his much-needed tea)


End file.
